Why Your New Years Resolutions Never Work- And 3 Alternative Approaches to the New Year
It’s heeerrrreeeee.
That moment we’ve all been waiting for!
New year, new you.
Amiright?
Okay I’ll cut to the chase before your eyes get stuck in the back of your head from that eyeroll. We have all heard of New Year’s Resolutions. They come from tradition (I’ll spare you the details of origin but a quick Google search can quench your thirst if you’re parched for that knowledge) and we all have probably made them at some point. Or at every point of a new year. Which is awesome. It’s like an annual reminder to get our shit together. Only, sadly, 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February (Business Insider).
80
Percent
By February.
I don’t know about you but that statistic doesn’t inspire hope for me. Despite that high number and the fail rate that still doesn’t mean that 80% of us are failures.
Now I’m not here to tell you how to make those resolutions stick this time. Y’all know me and that I think we are all our own beautiful individual snow flakes. Resolutions and goals just don’t work for some.
What I am here to do is give you some insight as to why resolutions they don’t work and some ideas for what those some of us can do instead.
Let’s start with why goal setting and why it doesn’t work for some of us.
Goal setting involves taking the thing you want and saying that you want it. Usually common goal setting methods then suggest setting steps and deadlines and a whole production to help you reach that one goal.
It all sounds good in theory- but that shit just does not work for everyone. Some people are not methodical, by the book, step by step individuals who can follow rules. Some people even have a psychological block up against doing things they are told to (even it it is by themselves). When there are lists and to dos and when everything is all planned out it makes it stressful. Especially considering all of the “must-do” demands from our work, family and daily life. When we have to submit projects, have dinner ready by 5 and pay our bills on time after all of that is said and done sometimes turning around to then have to do something else is exhausting. So we just don’t. Because that something else is for us and meh- we will get to it later.
Aside from the added burden, for some people looking at the end goal instead of the larger picture can be hindering (Huffington Post). That “tunnel vision” that we have all seen touted on memes means that while I’m focused on what’s at the end of the tunnel, I might miss some inspiring graffiti that would give me an even better idea for that ending. You see what I mean? It’s kind of like wearing those blinders that they make horses wear at the races. I know there are other things going on but I’m not quite sure what they are.
So now what?
Are you just left to flounder aimlessly through life?
Goal-less and therefore hopeless?
Doomed to never drop those last 10 pounds or pay off your college loans?
Alone and depressed with only your favorite furry socks and a Brazzer’s subscription to keep you warm at night?
Don’t be so dramatic. I gotchu.
You can still have hopes and dreams AND goals, sunshine! And here are a few tips on how:
- Maybe you use your aspirations more as guidelines than yet another deadline. Instead of being so serious about scheduling and planning use the new year as an opportunity to just think about some things in your life you want to change. Maybe you write them down, maybe you don’t. I just want you to make yourself aware of them. Give me 3. Or rather just think of 3.
- Maybe you apply a hybrid. So you set your goals. But instead of making those steps and deadlines try setting a simple alert in your phone that goes off regularly as a gentle reminder of them. That way you have something to aspire to and you are continuously reminded of it- but there’s less pressure.
- Fuck it. Don’t do anything. If you are happy where you are then I want you to know that you could do more- but you know, no one is forcing you to do something you don’t want. If you’re happy, you’re happy. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. People talk about getting outside of their comfort zones and while yes, that does often lead to growth, you can still grow from a place of comfort. Or not. You know. You do you.
Agreed- this isn’t your conventional New Year’s Resolution post. But hey- I thought I would give you something that might actually give you a new perspective.
And now I want to know which you are: Are you a Goal Setter or are you part of the 80% AKA a Goal Fretter?
Tell me your goals! Or just how are you going to approach the new year.
Whatever you do, make it amazing! And always do you.
